Ha!
Haha!
Hahahahahahaha!
So God laughed at me. Enter "Rug Hunt 2013" and "Chicken Trek 2013". Holy Guacamole.
Today, I had a simple errand to run. All I had to do was go to the grocery store to pick up four items: 4 pound chicken to roast, parsley, rosemary, and large carrots. If something inspired for dessert, we'd grab that too. Yes, "we". I had both kids in tow. Not a big deal. We do quick runs to stores all the time and for the most part, they are well behaved. Sometimes they'll get antsy in the checkout line, but nothing crazy.
Absolutely nothing like the magazine articles "What to do when your child goes bat sh*t crazy in the store".
Until today.
Well, until about a month ago.
Bad timing. That's what I chalk it up to. Really. Bad. Timing.
The first round was when I was hunting for house stuff. If anyone has ever gone into a Target with me, they know how ADD I can be. I mean - who isn't in that beautiful, mood-boosting store!?!? I love it! And I can usually make it awhile with the kids. However, on this trek, mistake #1 was going there after we had already gone to Ross and Shopko.
Mistake #2 was letting Little Miss walk with the shopping cart instead of riding in it.
I thought I had set myself up well for the trip by doing the first two stores then having a snack in the food court of Target. That's part of the advice the magazines give you, right? Make sure they are fed and have rested?
What they don't say is that food gives the kids energy. And energy equals danger when the children are not restrained in the red happy cart.
So I was trying to decide on a rug for our family room and chaos broke out. Little Miss started climbing on the metal shelves. Little Man started running his fingernails up and down the plastic thus tearing it. Little Miss thought this was hilarious so she started copying him. He didn't like the copying so he smacked her. She started crying. Then, when the consequences set in, they literally threw themselves on the ground in the middle of the aisle crying, again.
At this point, I should have thrown in the towel. Instead, I thought "Hey, we can do this. We can get over this hump. I can muster up a recovery."
Ha!
Haha!
Hahahahahahaha!
God laughed at me again.
They spiraled downward quickly. I finally decided to cut my losses and we were out. I checked out with my decorative pillow and luscious throw then beelined to the car. After we were safely in the car, I lectured and yelled. Wasn't pretty. We had quiet time in the car and both ended up falling asleep.
Mistake #3: Shopping when they were overtired.
So enter Chicken Trek....today's mission. Little Miss and Little Man were alternating pushing the kid cart that this grocery store has. They are awesome...when I have one child. But today, they were actually doing really well. We picked up items 1, 2, 3, and 4 without incident. Then I had to find kitchen twine. And I couldn't. Every aisle, no twine. That's when Little Miss lost it.
She let Little Man take over the pushing then flipped out for some reason. I honestly can't remember why. She threw herself on the floor and sat in the middle of the aisle. I kept going with Little Man praying she got over it. She ran after me crying. Then she ran down the aisle toward me and fell again. Crying. I wasn't yelling, I was being incredibly patient, empathetic, and loving. She wanted up, so I picked her up. Then she freaked again.
I decided to take the advice of the magazine articles and we headed out. I hustled to the checkout with Little Man pushing the cart and Little Miss now screaming. Oh yah - the shoppers were starting to stare. Did I mention this was Sunday afternoon? Like - the height of traffic at a grocery store!?
So we were in line and the lady in front of us was taking her sweet time checking out. I had Little Miss in an iron grip trying to keep her from hurting herself as she flailed back. Finally we were on our way out and she hit me. Full on slap.
I moved to silent mode.
We checked out, she was crying, Tyson was lecturing her on how she shouldn't act in a store, and it was raining. But I didn't yell. WOOHOO!
For 10 minutes back to our house, all I heard from her was "I want Mom!" What? That doesn't even make sense. But that is the kids' battle cry when they are hurting or sad or mad or have been punished. Even if I'm the one that did the punishing and Dad is saving the day. "I want Mom!"
Hopefully I'll learn my lesson and just not take them anymore. But what do can you do sometimes? Grin and bear it.
Cheers,
Megs
I laughed through this whole thing. But could for you for not yelling. I'm proud of you.
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