Day 9 - Eating Crow

I have a confession:  I'm a bit of a control freak.

Whew....that feels good to get off my chest.   It's taken me years to realize that and I know it'll probably come as a shock to most, if not all of you.  Yah, I can be bossy too.

I KNOW!  CONFESSIONS ABOUND!!!!
........

(HAHAHAHAHA)
Okay - so that was all dripping with sarcasm.  If you spend more than 10 minutes with me you will realize I can be a super control freak and border on having OCD and I hate chaos.  I blame the confusion of growing up middle child but oldest girl.  That creates a complicated "where am I?" scenario.  To adapt, I decided to be a leader.  Some may call it bossy.  I call it leading.

Like in second grade when I told the kids in front of me to be quiet and stand still.  I was just helping the music teacher keep the class in line.  Lucky (unfortunately?) that was caught on tape.

Or in seventh grade when I was point guard and had to constantly tell...ahem...lead my teammates where to go.  Unfortunately that was during a game...while I had the ball....and I had quit dribbling and just walked around.  Yah...that happened more than once.

Or at camp where the nickname pretty much from day 1 was Mother Megs.  I decided to take that as an endearing name and embraced it fully.

All this evidence was presented to Dear Husband years before he became Dear Husband.  He knowingly and willingly entered into marriage with a bos...er...leader.

However, with leading comes humility and acceptance.  This is a thematic conversation DH and I have a lot.  Well, we've had a lot more recently.

For example, tonight, he lovingly said he would do the dishes.  Now....he HATES dishes.  He hates wet hands, cleaning out the drain, getting food anywhere but his mouth, and just the general gross that is washing dishes.  Because it isn't just washing dishes.  It's getting all of them to fit in the dishwasher, wiping down the counters and the table, getting the food off the floor, and putting the leftovers in the fridge.

I, on the other hand, find washing dishes strangely relaxing.  Taking the chaos of dinner and turning our kitchen back into an orderly state.  However, it is exhausting after working all day, handling kids, and being on my feet while cooking dinner.  Standing for however many more minutes shouldn't be that appealing.

So when he offered tonight - for probably the FIRST time in the six years of our marriage - I should have jumped up and said "H*ll yeah baby!"

Instead, I said "Well....you might not do it right."

Really?

I mean - really? (refer to the first paragraph to determine why I said that)

He shrugged and said fine but also proceeded to point out the mere fact of him offering is a once in six year thing.  I ate crow and told him he was right and I was wrong (also a once in a six year thing! LOL.)

It's the giving up of control and working as a team that builds a stronger marriage.  We've discussed teamwork quite often recently - mainly in regards to parenting but it applies to all aspects of marriage.  One person can't do it all.  Everyone is needed.  Not everyone can be the quarterback but without the O-line the quarterback wouldn't be any good.  In a marriage, both partners have their gifts that make them shine and strengthen the team.  It is our job as the other's teammate to help them foster those gifts, not bring them down.

That is a goal I have.  To be more appreciative of my husband's gifts (like his amazing ability to play with our kids when I honestly have no idea what to do).  I need to give up control of this world.

It's hard and humbling but completely worth it.....like when I get to give the kids a bath instead of the dishes.  They are much more fun!

Cheers,
Megs