I seriously think every high school student, male and female, should have to participate in one of those classes where they get a fake baby to take care of for a few days. And then they should have to work in a daycare for a couple months.
Those two combined together would probably show most people that motherhood/parenting isn't 100% coos and goos and ahs and wows and major first moments. There are days when that's all it is and then there are days, weeks that those moments speed by and you are back into a circle of exhausting negotiating with a three year old.
There are ways to make those glorious moments last longer and become more frequent. Grandparents have this figured out....and because of their years of wisdom and several trips around the block, they encourage us young mothers to figure it out sooner. Both my mom and mom-in-law tell me often to relax and enjoy the kids where they are at. This advice is true; we do need to do that. However, life also has a say and those wonderful kids need food to eat and clothes to wear.
It's all about balance.
Balance is not something I do very well. I always thought because I was a great (ahem) multitasker, that I was great at balancing. But as I've learned again and again, multitasking is not the same as being balanced. Usually when one is doing multiple things at once, those things aren't getting the full attention they deserve. So when I try to cook dinner, run laundry, wash dishes, and play a game with the kids something is going to get burned or I'll get frustrated and yell. Yes, I yell. I mentioned this yesterday and reiterate it today.
It's not fair to yell at the kids when I'm the one spreading myself too thin. It's also not fair to yell when I'm not feeling so great (like today as I battle a major head cold). It really struck me as a problem when I saw Little Man exhibiting the same behavior. Embarrassing!!
So I started reading the Orange Rhino blog, and it's really inspiring. I've also been hugely inspired by Little Man's teachers. They are so caring and patient and they do the simplest thing to help the kids. The biggest thing I've noticed is that they physically go to the child, place a hand on the shoulder, and talk to them. If the child resists the hand, they just squat closely and talk. It's subtle and easy and makes a huge difference. Really? I mean making eye contact with them is better than yelling from my bathroom at the back of the house down the hallway, stairs, and into the living room?? I'll get better results if I take the 30 seconds to walk to them? Yah, it's communication 101. Another class I think all mothers should take.
Therefore I'm working on balance and not yelling. To help this epic journey, I've decided to get up earlier. "Huh?" you say. Yep - earlier. Like pre-dawn early. I need my time in the morning. I need to get a good shower in and be ready for the day otherwise I'm scrambling to get ready and the kids are scrambling and the lunches that get packed are crappy in nutrition and my coffee spills and stuff gets knocked over and I'm yelling in the car about how embarrassing it is when two kids are crying in the driveway. Oh yah - model family right there. It's just me in the mornings because Dear Husband has an early class he has to teach so he kisses the kids goodbye before they even open their eyes and is out the door. He will occasionally have a few minutes to rile them out of bed, which is SUPER helpful on the days he can do it, but I can't count on that.
So it's me against Little Man and Little Miss. And our dog. See why I need to get up at 5:45 AM at the latest?
Getting up earlier is step 1 in finding balance. Step 2 is getting more me time. I know one of my friends will be super excited to hear I'm really working on more Meg-Time. It's a biggee.....fighting the guilt of having it is also something to work on.
Of course there will be days that just stink. How we choose to react to them makes the difference. And finding balance in life helps our reactions be more positive.
I hope on this blessed Good Friday you all find something to balance in your day.
Cheers -
Megs
No comments:
Post a Comment