Pet Peeve Nine Hundred and Thirty Two: When your kid holds a big fat mirror to your face and basically says, "See here. You really fucked up right there in that moment."
Yep - that happened today. More on that later.
Social media has brought all of our best moments to the forefront of our lives. However, the danger in that is that people who scroll Facebook feeds and Snapchat stories tend to trick their brains into thinking that those are the real story.
This doesn't just happen in the minds of our teens. It happens in any person who uses the apps and feels tinges of jealousy or finding themselves wanting a slightly different version of their own life. I've done it. The smiling kids on vacation or the mom-time by herself with cocktail in hand or the couple celebrating their anniversary in a kick-ass way...all moments where I've caught myself mid-sigh.
The danger is that Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, etc all filter out the other necessities of life. It's absolutely necessary to celebrate the Good in life. Otherwise, every time a memory comes into our feed, we would fall further into a pit of despair. However, those other two cannot be ignored...they are necessary as well.
Back to that mirror held by the nine-year-old. Our son was in a super special mood this morning and being a stinker. He had a talking-to after church but was still in a funk. Hubby and I decided maybe we need to have an honest conversation with him. I told him to let us know what was bothering him and we wouldn't get mad. It could be with himself or the family unit - whatever. I was thinking he would say something like "We didn't get to stay at the cabin" or "We only went to Silverwood once." One of his usual complaints. Instead we got the mirror: "I really don't understand why you and dad have to cuss so much."
Shit.
Fucking shit.
I mean...I don't know why I cuss either. I lecture my students all the time about it and how important word choice is, etc, etc. It was completely embarrassing to be called to the carpet by the prepubescent boy who has probably heard more cuss words from his mother than the high school locker room.
So I decided I would be more conscious of it. A cuss-cup won't work since I never have spare change and neither will soap in the mouth. However, a rubber band around the wrist might do the trick so that's where we sit.
The Good? We took him to church.
The Bad? Moodiness and yelling and scolding shortly after church.
The Ugly? Those damn cuss words. *snap*
Why do I share this? Because it's important. Because moms and dads need to know that they are not alone in their battles with the beings that claim to be our children (most of the time). Because life is hard enough and battling imaginary filtered pictures on the internet is not a fair fight. Because I'm tired of thinking my life is so difficult when I know there are others out there in much tougher situations but feel they have to filter it.
So I encourage all of you to post, at least once this week, an Ugly or a Bad moment. Post without shame and post without fear of judgement. Because we've all been that mom in the middle of Target pulling the shit from the dollar rack and handing out the iPhones like it's crack in the 80s to avoid the meltdown at. all. costs.
So bust out the Ugly and the Bad with some Good mixed in. Then suck down a nice cocktail. You've earned it.
