I'm the vote every politician says they want.
I'm a woman.
I'm help run a small business.
I'm an educator.
My husband is an educator.
I'm a mother of three - two boys and a girl.
I'm from a military family.
I'm from a hunting family.
We just bought my son his first real gun at age 8.
I don't believe guns belong everywhere nor with everyone.
We are Christian.
We are fiscally conservative and responsible.
We pay off our debt.
We both work.
We aren't rich.
We aren't poor.
We send our kids to daycare, preschool, and public school.
I vote regularly.
I am a dog owner.
My in-laws have owned and ran a small business for 25 years.
My mom ran her own business now works in a school.
My dad is a lawyer.
I grew up in a rural community.
I now live in an "urban" community.
I abhor injustices that occur in society.
We regularly donate to the food bank and spend time with at-risk youth.
I believe all are equal under the laws of the country regardless of sexual preference, religious views, or skin color.
I recycle. And teach my kids to recycle.
I believe people should be taught how to use the resources they are given whether they are earned through a job or provided as part of an assistance program.
I believe the death of any child in any circumstance is wrong, abortion included, and struggle with understanding how it can occur but have incredible sympathy for the woman and couples that feel they have to make that choice.
I don't believe lobbyist should determine the results of an election but rather inform the electorate.
According to most politicians, I'm who they say they want. But I'm not who they cater to. I'm not extreme. I'm middle of the road. I'm representative of the majority of America. The polarized America now. No one is fighting for our desire to live safely and happily in this country.
I've had several campaign workers stop by the house. It usually goes like this:
Decent looking 20-something campaign worker: "Hi, I'm with so-so's campaign. Is Ryan home?"
Me: "Nope, he's not. He's coaching his daughters softball team right now."
Worker: "Oh. Okay. Well we would love to talk to him about our candidate."
Me: "Oh okay. Well I'm not sure when he'll be back."
Worker: "Okay. We'll swing back around."
(They leave. I stand dumbfounded.)
What about me? What about my opinion? Don't you want my vote?
Apparently not.
See you on election day.
Tuesday, July 19, 2016
Thursday, June 23, 2016
Plug it in, plug it in!
Okay - So this is a bit of a deviation from my normal writing, but I needed to share.
I've been trying to find ways of simplifying my life. One part of that is purging my closet and finding items that I absolutely love, feel amazing in, and can use in a thousand different combinations. Much easier said than done but a couple things have helped.
1) Do I love love love this. And does my hubby love love love me in it? If I don't love it and want to wear it, why would I keep it? And if I'm on the fence, I call in the "expert" and see what he thinks.
2) I'm debating using StyleBook. This seems intense - you take a picture of every item of clothing and it helps you pair outfits together. And helps you shop online by suggesting outfits you could pair that item with. Amazing, right? It's the picture thing that's intimidating. But this. would. rock. my. world!
3) Stitch Fix - I signed up. Oh my goodness. I was nervous and excited. And I went in fully knowing that the majority of items would be well beyond my usual budget (um, $15 for a t-shirt - no thanks. $10 or under for this girl!). BUT I thought if I could find a couple amazing pieces that might cost a bit more but that I LOVE then find some cheaper coordinating items. I got my first box the other day and bit the big bullet and decided to keep a skirt and shirt. And since I've found those two items creeping into my thoughts when I see other people's outfits or advertisements online or pins....I think that's a good sign. But it was a commitment!
And that brings me to the title of this blog - Plug it in! Stitch Fix has a referral program. So, if you want to check them out, click on this link: https://www.stitchfix.com/referral/5987746 . :)
It'll be awesome. I'm already wanting to up my box shipments so I can see more items faster!! AH!
I've been trying to find ways of simplifying my life. One part of that is purging my closet and finding items that I absolutely love, feel amazing in, and can use in a thousand different combinations. Much easier said than done but a couple things have helped.
1) Do I love love love this. And does my hubby love love love me in it? If I don't love it and want to wear it, why would I keep it? And if I'm on the fence, I call in the "expert" and see what he thinks.
2) I'm debating using StyleBook. This seems intense - you take a picture of every item of clothing and it helps you pair outfits together. And helps you shop online by suggesting outfits you could pair that item with. Amazing, right? It's the picture thing that's intimidating. But this. would. rock. my. world!
3) Stitch Fix - I signed up. Oh my goodness. I was nervous and excited. And I went in fully knowing that the majority of items would be well beyond my usual budget (um, $15 for a t-shirt - no thanks. $10 or under for this girl!). BUT I thought if I could find a couple amazing pieces that might cost a bit more but that I LOVE then find some cheaper coordinating items. I got my first box the other day and bit the big bullet and decided to keep a skirt and shirt. And since I've found those two items creeping into my thoughts when I see other people's outfits or advertisements online or pins....I think that's a good sign. But it was a commitment!
And that brings me to the title of this blog - Plug it in! Stitch Fix has a referral program. So, if you want to check them out, click on this link: https://www.stitchfix.com/referral/5987746 . :)
It'll be awesome. I'm already wanting to up my box shipments so I can see more items faster!! AH!
Thursday, June 16, 2016
Those Moments
We have all been "that" parent. We have all had "those" moments.
The difference is the unthinkable didn't happen in "those" moments when we were "that" parent.
My heart aches. It breaks. I feel like an emotional wet sack right now. You might be wondering "what tragedy is she going to touch on?" There's been so many recently....tragically.
It's all of them. The gorilla and the 3-year-old, the shootings in Orlando, the alligator and the 2-year-old, but before that it was the boy and the dock, and before that it was the little one and the tractor and before that and before that and before that....
Parents have been stricken with tragic events since the birth of the first child. Seriously - it's in the Bible. Cain and Abel. If Facebook had been around back then, Adam and Eve would have been taken to town - "I can't believe they didn't see the sibling issues before this." "Cain should have slaughtered them for obviously not loving him enough." "They should have been buried with their son." Or if you are more a New Testament person, how about when the parents of Jesus lost him. For three days. Can you imagine the backlash in today's society? Headline: Parents lose child of God during annual festival. And the comments: "The mother was chosen by God yet she can't keep track of him? The devil should have his way with her." "Of course they lost him - a carpenter and an unemployed woman? I'm sure they just wanted to party on their own so they left him with relatives." I'm sure some people back in those days did express disapproval and disgust.
But in today's world with the immediate access to news and tragedies and news outlets posting them on social media with that "comment" button so accessible, the shade can be thrown quickly, easily, and brutally. Judgement is immediate before anything other than a headline is known.
Oh - don't get me wrong and don't kid yourself - we aren't more judgmental nowadays than our parents or grandparents or great-grandparents were. It's that there is more we can judge and a bigger audience with which we can share our judgements. Growing up, if I didn't approve of something someone else did, I told my friends, maybe my parents, maybe my siblings and that's where the circle ended. With social media lending access to hundreds if not thousands of "friends" who would obviously want to hear our opinions, our circle becomes much larger and louder. Links can be shared with emoticons and 140 characters galore.
We don't have to think about how our words might affect the person we are using them against because we don't know that person. They don't live in our town, we don't go to school with them or their kids, we won't see them at the store. We have anonymity without having to hide ourselves. We can scroll through and catch a headline then read a couple comments and add our own two cents then move on. We don't have to see the real lives behind the headline.
Most of us weren't there in the life altering moments when the mother in Cincinnati realized her child was not by her side where she last saw him but rather under the gaze of a 450-pound gorilla.
Most of us weren't there in the split second the father thought his two year old had slipped into the water only to realize he hadn't fallen but rather 6 foot alligator was snatching him away.
I was not there. You were not there. This time.
We all have moments though. We have those seconds we run back into the house to grab our phone or a water bottle or some other mundane item and leave the kids playing in the front. Most of our children don't run into the street in those split seconds, but they could.
We have those moments when we close our eyes at the pool enjoying the sounds of the children playing and not fighting and the feel warmth of the sun. Most of our children don't swallow a mouthful of water and start panicking in those moments, but they could.
We have times when we rush bedtime so we can finish dishes or work or just have a moment with our spouse. Most of our children don't fall asleep never to wake up again, but they could.
It could happen. It could. To you or me or to your best friend or a perfect stranger. It could happen to anyone. This is life. This is not the game of life, this is not a movie, this is not the latest novel. This is real, true, life.
Shit happens. Tragic, crazy, gut wrenching shit.
And it could be you. Because you aren't perfect and neither are your children and neither is the world. You can control your actions, you can try to control your children's actions, but you cannot control other people's actions. You can't stop the crazy who blasts out a nightclub. You can't stop the plane from going down. You can't stop the wild animal from realizing he's at Disneyworld and that's not a small rodent. You can't stop the world. So you can't stop the shit from happening to you.
That means you shouldn't take every opportunity to comment, meme, judge the people in the headlines.
Try praying for them instead.
Try praying for yourself.
Try praying for your children and your children's children.
Be thankful it wasn't you and pray that God wraps the ones it was in His arms.
Who cares who is behind the story? It doesn't matter what they do for a living or where they are from. Tragedy has struck them at their core. That is what matters. They are human and that is what matters.
The difference is the unthinkable didn't happen in "those" moments when we were "that" parent.
-----------
My heart aches. It breaks. I feel like an emotional wet sack right now. You might be wondering "what tragedy is she going to touch on?" There's been so many recently....tragically.
It's all of them. The gorilla and the 3-year-old, the shootings in Orlando, the alligator and the 2-year-old, but before that it was the boy and the dock, and before that it was the little one and the tractor and before that and before that and before that....
Parents have been stricken with tragic events since the birth of the first child. Seriously - it's in the Bible. Cain and Abel. If Facebook had been around back then, Adam and Eve would have been taken to town - "I can't believe they didn't see the sibling issues before this." "Cain should have slaughtered them for obviously not loving him enough." "They should have been buried with their son." Or if you are more a New Testament person, how about when the parents of Jesus lost him. For three days. Can you imagine the backlash in today's society? Headline: Parents lose child of God during annual festival. And the comments: "The mother was chosen by God yet she can't keep track of him? The devil should have his way with her." "Of course they lost him - a carpenter and an unemployed woman? I'm sure they just wanted to party on their own so they left him with relatives." I'm sure some people back in those days did express disapproval and disgust.
But in today's world with the immediate access to news and tragedies and news outlets posting them on social media with that "comment" button so accessible, the shade can be thrown quickly, easily, and brutally. Judgement is immediate before anything other than a headline is known.
Oh - don't get me wrong and don't kid yourself - we aren't more judgmental nowadays than our parents or grandparents or great-grandparents were. It's that there is more we can judge and a bigger audience with which we can share our judgements. Growing up, if I didn't approve of something someone else did, I told my friends, maybe my parents, maybe my siblings and that's where the circle ended. With social media lending access to hundreds if not thousands of "friends" who would obviously want to hear our opinions, our circle becomes much larger and louder. Links can be shared with emoticons and 140 characters galore.
We don't have to think about how our words might affect the person we are using them against because we don't know that person. They don't live in our town, we don't go to school with them or their kids, we won't see them at the store. We have anonymity without having to hide ourselves. We can scroll through and catch a headline then read a couple comments and add our own two cents then move on. We don't have to see the real lives behind the headline.
Most of us weren't there in the life altering moments when the mother in Cincinnati realized her child was not by her side where she last saw him but rather under the gaze of a 450-pound gorilla.
Most of us weren't there in the split second the father thought his two year old had slipped into the water only to realize he hadn't fallen but rather 6 foot alligator was snatching him away.
I was not there. You were not there. This time.
We all have moments though. We have those seconds we run back into the house to grab our phone or a water bottle or some other mundane item and leave the kids playing in the front. Most of our children don't run into the street in those split seconds, but they could.
We have those moments when we close our eyes at the pool enjoying the sounds of the children playing and not fighting and the feel warmth of the sun. Most of our children don't swallow a mouthful of water and start panicking in those moments, but they could.
We have times when we rush bedtime so we can finish dishes or work or just have a moment with our spouse. Most of our children don't fall asleep never to wake up again, but they could.
It could happen. It could. To you or me or to your best friend or a perfect stranger. It could happen to anyone. This is life. This is not the game of life, this is not a movie, this is not the latest novel. This is real, true, life.
Shit happens. Tragic, crazy, gut wrenching shit.
And it could be you. Because you aren't perfect and neither are your children and neither is the world. You can control your actions, you can try to control your children's actions, but you cannot control other people's actions. You can't stop the crazy who blasts out a nightclub. You can't stop the plane from going down. You can't stop the wild animal from realizing he's at Disneyworld and that's not a small rodent. You can't stop the world. So you can't stop the shit from happening to you.
That means you shouldn't take every opportunity to comment, meme, judge the people in the headlines.
Try praying for them instead.
Try praying for yourself.
Try praying for your children and your children's children.
Be thankful it wasn't you and pray that God wraps the ones it was in His arms.
Who cares who is behind the story? It doesn't matter what they do for a living or where they are from. Tragedy has struck them at their core. That is what matters. They are human and that is what matters.
Monday, February 29, 2016
Guilt, Sanity, and Grace
It's a battle between guilt and sanity that only grace can resolve.
Full disclosure - I'm Catholic. A cradle-Catholic. One of six in my family raised in a small town on the hi-line of Montana. I started mothering at a young age; however, it's hard to not feel guilty when I entertain the thought that three children is enough.
Why do I have feeling that in order to be a "good" Catholic family, we need to have a "ton" of kids (i.e. more than two or even three)?
As I sit down to write this, my middle one is taking a shower after another eventful battle of the wills between mother and daughter, our oldest is finishing up hockey practice, and our youngest is entertaining himself by climbing on the open door of the dishwasher while pulling out the silverware.
I admire mothers who have seemingly eternal patience...or at least have learned to mask impatience with great composure. My sisters-in-law and mom come to mind. One sister has five boys and one baby girl and never seems to run out of patience. I know she must. I know she must lose her mind at times and yet it never comes across to her children, other's children, or her plethora of siblings.
She is a great Catholic woman - and not because she has six children but because she is incredibly faithful. She would be a wonderful Catholic woman without any children. I believe her faith strengthens her as a mother and motherhood has strengthened her faith. It's a play between the two and one couldn't be without the other for her.
My mother was a great Catholic woman yet it manifested itself differently. She was and is one of works and service. She was deeply involved in not only church activities and projects but most of what we did as kids. She showed us what it meant to be there for our children and still exemplifies that as a grandmother.
Both women share the quality of ducks - they let it run off their backs. Not much seems to ruffle their feathers. I was not blessed with this gift. My first reaction is emotional nine times out of ten. This is something I've struggled to recognize and, in turn, control especially with my kids. It's in those moments of emotion that I find the thought creeping from the back burner "What am I thinking? No way can I have more kids. Definitely can't handle it." Then as the emotion ebbs away and we settle in to a comfy spot to read, I think "Oh yes, I could do this. Spread a couple more around."
Outside those yin and yang moments, I have to take a honest inventory of my life, our family, my emotions and well-being and figure out what I could handle. Yes, I know God only gives us what we can handle, but I believe He has also tagged us with the responsibility to recognize that in ourselves as well. I know I would probably survive bungee jumping but my incredible fear of heights coupled with a very weak stomach forces me to accept that - even though I would make it - my well being would suffer greatly because of it.
So I sit at a crossroads. To have more or to "be done." Complicating the matter is the fact that I am Catholic. Yes, that means I follow the Catholic teachings of the use (or rather non-use) of contraception. Further complicating the matter is the fact that I have multiple medical conditions which create a wonderful environment for getting pregnant but not so much for staying pregnant as well as several other symptoms for which the most effective medical resolve is contraception.
Two parallel roads are running next to each other. Our decision to have our family be complete and my health and it's well being. I'm hard-pressed to figure out where they will cross and what that will mean.
For now, I've resolved to focus on my health, which means taking the "hormone therapy." Over the past two months, I've noticed some changes and some resolve but since most of the matters are sub-surface, I don't really know what it's doing. I don't feel too crazy or too abnormal so I guess that's a good sign. I also feel some peace knowing it's given me some mental space and energy to pray about our family and enjoy the time we have with our three in the moment.
Hopefully the grace will continue to pour in and assuage the guilt that seems to remain in the background.
Full disclosure - I'm Catholic. A cradle-Catholic. One of six in my family raised in a small town on the hi-line of Montana. I started mothering at a young age; however, it's hard to not feel guilty when I entertain the thought that three children is enough.
Why do I have feeling that in order to be a "good" Catholic family, we need to have a "ton" of kids (i.e. more than two or even three)?
As I sit down to write this, my middle one is taking a shower after another eventful battle of the wills between mother and daughter, our oldest is finishing up hockey practice, and our youngest is entertaining himself by climbing on the open door of the dishwasher while pulling out the silverware.
I admire mothers who have seemingly eternal patience...or at least have learned to mask impatience with great composure. My sisters-in-law and mom come to mind. One sister has five boys and one baby girl and never seems to run out of patience. I know she must. I know she must lose her mind at times and yet it never comes across to her children, other's children, or her plethora of siblings.
She is a great Catholic woman - and not because she has six children but because she is incredibly faithful. She would be a wonderful Catholic woman without any children. I believe her faith strengthens her as a mother and motherhood has strengthened her faith. It's a play between the two and one couldn't be without the other for her.
My mother was a great Catholic woman yet it manifested itself differently. She was and is one of works and service. She was deeply involved in not only church activities and projects but most of what we did as kids. She showed us what it meant to be there for our children and still exemplifies that as a grandmother.
Both women share the quality of ducks - they let it run off their backs. Not much seems to ruffle their feathers. I was not blessed with this gift. My first reaction is emotional nine times out of ten. This is something I've struggled to recognize and, in turn, control especially with my kids. It's in those moments of emotion that I find the thought creeping from the back burner "What am I thinking? No way can I have more kids. Definitely can't handle it." Then as the emotion ebbs away and we settle in to a comfy spot to read, I think "Oh yes, I could do this. Spread a couple more around."
Outside those yin and yang moments, I have to take a honest inventory of my life, our family, my emotions and well-being and figure out what I could handle. Yes, I know God only gives us what we can handle, but I believe He has also tagged us with the responsibility to recognize that in ourselves as well. I know I would probably survive bungee jumping but my incredible fear of heights coupled with a very weak stomach forces me to accept that - even though I would make it - my well being would suffer greatly because of it.
So I sit at a crossroads. To have more or to "be done." Complicating the matter is the fact that I am Catholic. Yes, that means I follow the Catholic teachings of the use (or rather non-use) of contraception. Further complicating the matter is the fact that I have multiple medical conditions which create a wonderful environment for getting pregnant but not so much for staying pregnant as well as several other symptoms for which the most effective medical resolve is contraception.
Two parallel roads are running next to each other. Our decision to have our family be complete and my health and it's well being. I'm hard-pressed to figure out where they will cross and what that will mean.
For now, I've resolved to focus on my health, which means taking the "hormone therapy." Over the past two months, I've noticed some changes and some resolve but since most of the matters are sub-surface, I don't really know what it's doing. I don't feel too crazy or too abnormal so I guess that's a good sign. I also feel some peace knowing it's given me some mental space and energy to pray about our family and enjoy the time we have with our three in the moment.
Hopefully the grace will continue to pour in and assuage the guilt that seems to remain in the background.
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